Abuse of any kind is difficult to deal with. Types of verbal abuse can add the following:

• Does your loved one ignore your feelings?
  

• Is he disrespectful?
  

• Does he withhold approval, appreciation or affection?
  

• Does he walk away without answering you?
  

• Does he criticize you, call you names or yell at you?
  

• Does he humiliate you in public or in the privacy of your home?
  

• Does he tell you that you are too sensitive?
  

• Does he destroy furniture or punch holes in the walls?
  

These are some of the signs, but there are many more that could be observed. Abuse is difficult to deal with if the abuser has Alzheimers disease since the abuser cant really control it.

If a person with Alzheimers becomes verbally abusive, it could be because he is suffering from depression or aggressive behavior caused by the disease. In this case you might want to involve your doctor and let him understand the situation. He could be able to prescribe an anti-depressive medication or simply change the current medication. You might want to take a break from your loved one, as sometimes caring all the measure for the same human may be exhausting. Or you may try to place your loved one in an adult day care, or hire some professional help. Make sure that substitute caregivers are knowledgeable about Alzheimers disease and understand how to handle patients with dementia.

One way to deal with the situation before it becomes a big problem is to try humor. You cannot control how your loved one is acting but you may decrease the feelings of frustration by controlling how you respond. Try to validate your loved ones feelings; it will definitely help him. Many times, many people with Alzheimers are so frustrated that they act it out through verbal abuse and aggression. Put yourself in his place. It is very frustrating!

The most important thing you have to remember is not to talk down to your loved one because he is still a human with an entire life history of success and independence. If you see that what you are trying to do or say to him is not working, just let it go for a while, step out of the room and come back later. Let your loved one calm down and relax. You can want to try music. Studies have shown that Alzheimers patients fairly often find music relaxing.

Finally, if you still feel overwhelmed, join a support group that specifically deals with verbal abuse and learn how to cope with it. Many times other everybody in the group will have experienced the same ordeal with their loved ones. Group members could be able to counsel you on how they coped or dealt with this kind of behavior.

This group will also help you to deal with your emotions and frustrations. They will tell you how to control them, and once you are able to deal with your own feelings, then you will be more successful coping with your loved ones behavior.

William G. Hammond, JD is a nationally known elder law attorney and founder of The Alzheimers Resource Center. He is a frequent guest on radio and television and has developed innovative solutions to guide families who have a loved one suffering from Alzheimers. For more experience you may visit his internet page at www.BeatAlzheimers.com.