CELEBRATING TRIUMPH

At age seven I was sexually abused by my father and grandfather. Those memories were

repressed until four years ago, at age 33. After several many years of therapy and a supportive

family, I began to heal. I became stronger during that healing process. By looking

inward to analyze my own pain I learned a lot about myself. I confronted my father

about the abuse and stood my ground during his denial. Through the healing process I

realized why, at age 16, I married an abusive man. It was in an effort to escape my

father, yet I ended up with someone just like him. After eight many years of marriage, I left

with my two children.

The abuse left me scared and ashamed of my body, always feeling dirty and unworthy.

Self-acceptance was something I just could not understand. I now know that self

acceptance is the key to abundance. I am trying to learn that the decision to accept

myself and accept happiness is up to me. It is not appropriate to rely on someone elses

approval because that may be destructive. Human behavior is inconsistent so why would

we want to put our faith in a human? It is one thing to trust and love, but quite another

thing to base our entire self-esteem the core of our being on what someone else

thinks.

The childhood and marital abuse has sensitized me to the pain of others and I have been

able to utilize my own pain to help them. I am very much in touch with my own feelings

and therefore have an insight far beyond my many years. I am quick to analyze and get to the

root of a problem, which allows me to be of grand benefit to others.

My experiences with abuse have lead me to pursue volunteer work with abused women

and children. I have become an activist within the community, speaking out against

violence. I am able to relate well to those in crisis and show deep concern regarding

emotional issues. I have also grown spiritually and feel a deep connection to my religion.

There is a wants to pursue a career in which I may help others grow and develop. The

pain has strengthened my soul and has given me coping skills that most do not have.

My self-esteem and confidence have grown. I feel a deep commitment to family and a

loyalty as a wife, mother and friend. I have an openness to self development, self

awareness and intuitiveness.

I truly believe that there is a reason for everything, including pain. I now try to keep a

positive focus during the painful times of my life and I welcome the growth that follows.

My outlook is one of steadfast strength and faith. I have learned to also accept the

strength of others, the strength of God, and to trust again. I have survived

abuse, one of the most terrifying and traumatic childhood experiences. That experience

alone helps me realize that, as an adult, I may survive just about anything!!

By Monique Rider 2001

Monique is a survivor of adversity! She believes there are blessings in our struggles. Monique is also the owner of Trinity Coaching Services, a company that provides personal development coaching services. In addition, Monique is a competitive bodybuilder, wife, mother, and published author. To learn more about Monique and personal coaching visit: http://home.talkcity.com/workoutpl/trinitycoachingservices/ or email Monique at: Monique_Rider@msn.com